Now accepting help

Lately, it’s been pretty calm on the blog front here at “work in progress”. We’ve been busy with other things.

Pat BoldPat is half-way through the third trimester of pregnancy number two. With just six weeks to go, she is on the record as “nesting”: onesies and baby booties being at the top of her personal agenda. She is also busy “transforming” within the framework of her contextual coaching education.

I, on the other hand, am knee-deep in all that is my master thesis. Typically, I am “in control” and “on top” of these matters. Always prepared, ever organized, invariably ahead. But these days, in terms of my thesis, my state can only be described as flat-footed, pell-mell and twice-overdue.

In theory, I know how to get out of this state. Having a formal coaching education, there are a multitude of tools and methods at my disposal to use and abuse at will – from belief change and anchor processes to positive inner dialogs and resource trances (just to name a few).

But alas, I remain in “stuck-state” and all attempts at self-coaching myself into a pleasant and productive frame-of-mind seem to fail.

In reference to this phenomena (which happens more often than we would like to admit), Pat and I have established a term which we jokingly use: uncoached. We say things like: “I know this shouldn’t bother me, but I am so uncoached right now and just don’t care.”

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When I am feeling wedged-in, overwhelmed and otherwise uncoached, I remind myself of these HUMAN TRUTHS:

  • Sometimes we are big and sometimes we are small.
  • Despite all our knowledge and good intentions, we will not always do what we know or intend.
  • It is pertinent to individual survival and just plain smart to accept help at the right times.

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NOW ACCEPTING HELP!

Accepting Help

Illustration published with permission of Daniel Jennewein: http://www.danielsdailydrawings.blogspot.com/

And so, instead of beating myself up, I decided to acknowledge that I’m feeling small, forget what I think I know and simply ask for a help. Here’s what I got in return:

  • Daniela sat with me at her house in Vienna for three hours and shared all the things she had learned while writing her own thesis last year. Afterwards, she sent further guidelines and useful information via e-mail.
  • Petra expertly intervened with a simple but direct Facebook message that almost immediately helped me to move from “I hate doing this” to “I’m in control and can make this a great experience”. She also asked some important questions that I hadn’t asked myself and offered to skype to discuss possible completion strategies.
  • Niclas brought me some books on statistical analysis and made time for an idea sparring-match on Friday.
  • My husband Heiko read my dissertation abstract and then helped me find more relevant research which led me to somewhat of a breakthrough.

Am I now loving this master thesis with every molecule in my being?

No. Or should I say, not yet. But I am feeling much better than last week. No longer in stuck-state, I am moving forward. Baby booty steps, grant it. But moving forward none-the-less.

Until we meet again,

Shailia

[Todays blog post is dedicated to all of my fellow graduate students who are working on their thesis along with me. I love you guys!]

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Motivators and reminders (to download): Accepting Help

One response to “Now accepting help

  1. I bet the kitties are helping you too!

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